The Awkwardness of Greetings
February 20, 2025
In Aleinu Leshabeach, Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein relates that a baal teshuvah once admitted that his return to Torah and mitzvos was triggered by the simple pleasant behavior of a religious neighbor.
He lived in an apartment building in Haifa that was occupied by an overwhelming majority of irreligious families; only one of his neighbors was religious. Yet that religious neighbor was always particular to greet the man warmly every time he encountered him in the stairwell.
Eventually, the man realized that if his religious neighbor could constantly radiate such joy, it must mean that his life was filled with meaning and fulfillment. He resolved to explore that life for himself, and that is how he became a baal teshuvah.
In Pirkei Avos (1:12) Hillel states, “Be among the disciples of Aharon, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people and bringing them close to Torah.”
The Tiferes Yisrael infers from the wording of the Mishnah that Hillel’s admonition is to love all human beings, even non-Jews. By addressing them in a warm, pleasant way, one can draw them close to the Torah, as well.
Tosfos Yom Tov adds a note of caution, however. Although Aharon extended warm greetings even to evildoers, he still maintained a rigid separation from them so that he would not be influenced by their ways. We must remember the importance of preserving our kedushah even as we strive to grow in this area.
What do you think creates the discomfort we sometimes feel in greeting others? What’s the resistance? I’d love to hear your thoughts—just reply with a number or share any other insights:
1. Are we afraid of being ignored or of being a nuisance?
2. Are we simply too occupied and not being mindful of others?
3. Are we afraid of being influenced and paying too much attention to others?
4. Is it not possible because our streets are too populated?
5. Is it not culturally accepted?
Looking forward to hearing your perspective!
Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Rabbi Shraga Freedman
He lived in an apartment building in Haifa that was occupied by an overwhelming majority of irreligious families; only one of his neighbors was religious. Yet that religious neighbor was always particular to greet the man warmly every time he encountered him in the stairwell.
Eventually, the man realized that if his religious neighbor could constantly radiate such joy, it must mean that his life was filled with meaning and fulfillment. He resolved to explore that life for himself, and that is how he became a baal teshuvah.
In Pirkei Avos (1:12) Hillel states, “Be among the disciples of Aharon, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people and bringing them close to Torah.”
The Tiferes Yisrael infers from the wording of the Mishnah that Hillel’s admonition is to love all human beings, even non-Jews. By addressing them in a warm, pleasant way, one can draw them close to the Torah, as well.
Tosfos Yom Tov adds a note of caution, however. Although Aharon extended warm greetings even to evildoers, he still maintained a rigid separation from them so that he would not be influenced by their ways. We must remember the importance of preserving our kedushah even as we strive to grow in this area.
What do you think creates the discomfort we sometimes feel in greeting others? What’s the resistance? I’d love to hear your thoughts—just reply with a number or share any other insights:
1. Are we afraid of being ignored or of being a nuisance?
2. Are we simply too occupied and not being mindful of others?
3. Are we afraid of being influenced and paying too much attention to others?
4. Is it not possible because our streets are too populated?
5. Is it not culturally accepted?
Looking forward to hearing your perspective!
Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Rabbi Shraga Freedman
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