A World Without The Rebbe
By: Rabbi Chaim Aryeh Zev Ginzberg all go credit goes to him and the 5 Towns Jewish Times
Many of us, mispallelim and acquaintances alike, feel very similar today. Last month we lived in a world with the Rebbe, and today we live in a world without the Rebbe, and his loss is felt so deeply by his baalebatimin Cedarhurst and by the Five Towns community at large.
On a personal level, I was zocheh to a “chibah yeseirah” from the Rebbe, and I confided in him, and I was indeed humbled when he confided in me. I was a friend, a chasid, and at times a chavrusa where he would often ask me what I said in shul on a Shabbos or on a yom tov. It was hard for me to tell if he really liked my thoughts because he was always so effusive in his compliments. When his beloved brother-in-law, Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt’l, would tell me that the Rebbe shared with him my dvar Torah, only then did I know for sure that it met his approval.
Prior to moving into Cedarhurst 25 years ago, I had never met the Rebbe personally, but I had heard much about him from two friends. One, an old yeshiva friend, Reb Dovid Portal who was the rosh hakol for more than 25 years, and from a friend from Hillcrest, Ari Cymbalista, who would always speak to me about the Rebbe.
I was very interested in meeting him and upon my first Shabbos in the community, I went to daven at the hashkamah minyan at the shtiebel. The Rebbe welcomed me and treated me like an old lost best friend. That first impression of the Rebbe’s warmth has remained with me until today.
While I am not capable to write a comprehensive biography of the Rebbe, which would require specifics about his youth and his relationship with his father and his father-in-law, which so much defined what he was all about, I will leave that for others to do. I want to just share some of the memorable lessons that I personally learned from the Rebbe, some by word and some by deed.
Chazal describe one of the most important attributes of a talmid is that he has to have “aimas rabbo,” he has to hold his Rebbe in awe. I’ve observed many relationships between a rebbe and talmid throughout my life, and many were inspiring, but the level of “aimas rabbo” that I saw by the Rebbe, I had never seen before.
He once shared with me a fascinating interaction that he had with his great Rebbe, HaRav Aharon Kotler, zt’l, the Lakewood rosh yeshiva. Not only did he learn from him as a talmid, he also had much personal interaction with him as well. One Shabbos he spent together with Reb Aharon in Williamsburg, and after the Shabbos seudah on Friday night, he went for a walk together with the rosh yeshiva. As they were walking, they encountered the Satmar Rebbe, zt’l, Reb Yoel, who was returning home from his tisch accompanied by his trusted gabbai and also a bochur from Lakewood Yeshiva who had attended the Rebbe’s tisch that night.
As the bochur saw the rosh yeshiva, he became somewhat embarrassed. The Satmar Rebbe, who was so incredibly astute, noticed the bochur’s discomfort, so he quickly said to Reb Aharon, “The rosh yeshiva doesn’t have to worry, he didn’t eat the shirayim, he will never become a chasid!” Reb Aharon turned towards the bochur and said, “Quickly, say amen!” All enjoyed the back-and-forth exchange.
After the Satmar Rebbe took leave, the Rebbe saw an opportunity to ask his Rebbe, Reb Aharon Kotler, something that he really was very interested in understanding. With great trepidation, he asked him what the rosh yeshiva thought of the Satmar shitah, their opinion on Eretz Yisrael, knowing full well that the rosh yeshivahad a completely different viewpoint. The rosh yeshiva looked at him very seriously and responded, “The Satmar Rebbe is an adam gadol, but he is a da’as yachid, and we are a rabbim, and the halacha is yachid ve’rabbim halacha ke’rabbim.”
I was very inspired when the Rebbe shared this exchange with me because it was such a refreshing way to view the fundamental difference of opinion about such an incredibly important topic as Eretz Yisrael. It’s not that I am right and you are wrong, but it’s the very same approach that we have in our discussions on this issue for a millennium. Everyone is right, but we follow the rule of yachid ve’rabbim, halacha ke’rabbim.
It was more than a year after the Rebbe shared this with me that an article was published by a prominent Orthodox rabbi affiliated with the Mizrachi movement. And he wrote an extremely disrespectful article about the previous Satmar Rebbe, zt’l, in regard to his opinions about Eretz Yisrael. Many were appalled at his lack of respect for such a great man and such a great Torah leader. I was asked by several people to write a response.
Now while I personally don’t identify with the Satmar philosophy on Eretz Yisrael, as I follow my own Rebbe, however, I agreed that this disrespectful affront to the Rebbe should be responded to, and so I did.
In my response, I shared the enlightening and interesting exchange that the Rebbe had with Reb Aharon Kotler and who then shared it with me, which basically explained the proper way to view this major difference of opinion and the various schools of thought. There were many who were pleased that I shared this information in my article and many people were inspired by it. However, not the Rebbe!
It was two or three days later when the front doorbell rang at my home, and I quickly opened it and was surprised to see the Rebbe standing there. I invited him in and said, “Rebbe, if you wanted to speak to me, I would have gladly come to you. Why didn’t you just tell me?” And the Rebbe responded softly that he wanted to tell me something and did not want to bother me to come to him. He then explained the reason for his visit.
Someone had shown him the article that I had written where I quoted what I had heard from him. Then the Rebbe added, “I haven’t slept well since I saw it.” I responded, “Rebbe, I feel terrible, did I misquote the story? Did I say something that was not accurate?” The Rebbe replied, “Rabbi Ginzberg, you wrote it exactly the way that I told it to you, however I am afraid that someone may read it and not agree with what the rosh yeshivasaid and then will criticize it or even, chas v’shalom, make fun of it and go on to criticize the rosh yeshiva, and if that should happen, it will be pogea in the kavod of my Rebbe. And to think that I would have had some small part in that happening.” Again, the Rebbe repeated that should someone be disrespectful to my Rebbe, he would feel terrible that what I shared from my Rebbe went out to the public. I watched the Rebbe literally shaking when he said these words. I then said to the Rebbe that I have witnessed much in my life but rarely did I ever see the kind of aimas rabbo that the Rebbe has for the rosh yeshiva, for his Rebbe, even now, more than 50 years since his passing.
I remember another time when the Rebbe appeared at my front door one evening and he was visibly agitated. He shared that he received a call from another rav in the Five Towns who had some type of altercation with one of the longtime mispallellim of the Rebbe and some harsh words were expressed against the rav. This rav who had no prior personal connection to the Rebbe, called him to share his pain and embarrassment. The Rebbe was beside himself. How could this happen from someone he was close to? After all, the concept of kavod haTorah is one of the fundamental lessons that was so close to his heart. The Rebbe was not only disappointed in the shul member himself, but even more so, he was disappointed with himself that he obviously was not successful in properly imparting this fundamental lesson that he so deeply believed in. While I couldn’t find the proper words to comfort the Rebbe’s feelings, I did learn a valuable lesson from him. When a student or a balaboss does something inappropriate, before looking at him, first look to yourself if just maybe the fault lies with you.
The Rebbe cared for me very deeply on a personal level and I cared for him. When COVID began, before Pesach 2020, I became very ill with the dreaded disease to the point that my very life hung in the balance. The Rebbe called my family every day for updates and organized groups for Tehillim. When he heard right before yom tov started that the situation was extremely critical, he became very emotional. Early the next morning on the first day of yom tov, the Rebbe sent Brian Weiss to my house to inquire what the latest report of my condition was. He told me much later that he davened so hard for me during and after the Seder that he was sure that there would be some good news to share. Only recently did this come full circle. When I went to the shivahhome to sit with the Rebbe’s two wonderful sons, I took the opportunity to walk to the women’s section to offer words of nechamah to the Rebbe’s daughters. As soon as one of them saw me, she called out loud, “You should know Rabbi Ginzberg that on that day of erev Pesach when we called our father to wish him a gut yom tov, all he said was ‘please don’t stop saying Tehillim for Rabbi Ginzberg.’” And after she said that all of her sisters responded as well, “Yes, he told each and every one of us the same thing and we all spent the night saying Tehillim for you.” I felt the Rebbe’s warm embrace once again.
One of the first visitors who came to visit me when I came home was the Rebbe who wanted to give me some chizuk and asked me if I had a gut vort for him. I told him that I had taped a video that morning to all the Ohel Sarala participants to thank them for all their tefillos on my behalf. The Rebbe insisted that I play the video for him and he sat and watched the whole thing. He did this just to show me how much he truly cared for me. Something that I remember until this day.
At the one-year anniversary of my returning home, my family hosted a large communal seudat hoda’ah. Though there were dozens of rabbanim that attended, there was only one speaker besides myself and that was the Rebbe who proceeded to sing a song of shevach ve’hoda’ah to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
Every Rosh Hashanah night after davening in my shul from the first year that I moved into the community I would always walk to the shtiebel to wish the Rebbe a good year and to get a berachah from him. I remember the year of the Rosh Hashanah right after COVID when walking was still very difficult for me and I was walking with the help of a walker, the Rebbe called me in the afternoon of erev Rosh Hashanah and he said to me, “Rabbi Ginzberg, I’m giving you a berachah now on the phone and wishing you a gut gebentsha yor so now you don’t have to come tonight. You don’t have to walk to the shteibel because I gave you the berachahalready.” The Rebbe was so concerned that I’d make the effort, and it would be hard for me to come to him like I did every year. After davening Ma’ariv in my shul, I went anyway. When I walked in with my walker and came over to the Rebbe, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “I knew that you would come.” And I said to him, “Rebbe, and I knew that you knew that I would come.”
I had one very memorable trip to Eretz Yisrael with the Rebbe. My wife and I boarded a plane to Eretz Yisrael and as soon as I went to my seat, I noticed the Rebbe traveling all by himself. He was going for a family simcha and his beloved Rebbetzin, z’l, was already not well and was unable to travel with him. I was surprised to see the Rebbe traveling by himself, so I went over to offer my assistance and as expected, he said he didn’t need anything.
My wife, who always thinks of others first, said to me that you can’t leave the Rebbe to sit all by himself. I approached a secular Israeli woman who was sitting in the next seat to the Rebbe and gently explained to her that the Rebbe is a great rabbi and is traveling by himself as his wife is not well, and would she be so kind to switch seats with me so I could sit and keep an eye on the Rebbe and keep him company. She immediately agreed. When I sat down next to the Rebbe, at first, he protested that I should be sitting with my wife. Not until my wife assured him and said that she does not mind and wants to help the Rebbe during the trip, as it is a long flight, did he finally accept my gesture.
I sat down and we began to speak. The Rebbe was holding a Chumash and I was holding a Gemara that was being learned in the Daf Yomi cycle. We spoke for hours upon hours and had many lengthy conversations about his parents, in laws, and of course about his beloved Rebbe, the Lakewood rosh yeshiva. Truthfully, I had really wanted to sleep a little, but when I saw that the Rebbe was not going to sleep at all, I felt that I could not do so either. It was such an enjoyable and enlightening flight that I remember it well until this day.
I also remember that when we exited the plane, his son Rav Naftali had arranged for the Rebbe to be met by a valet company that escorts the passengers directly into a car to go straight to the passport control line without having to walk the long distance to the welcome and reception area. They held up a sign with the Rebbe’s name and I directed him to go with them. The Rebbe refused to do so. He said, “I’m not going unless Rabbi Ginzberg goes with me as well.” I tried explaining to the Rebbe that I can’t go with them unless I had signed up for it, which I hadn’t done and therefore I was unable to go with them. I explained to the Rebbe that I would walk there with my wife and we would meet the Rebbe over there, but he would not hear of it. The Rebbe turned to the person and said, “Rabbi Ginzberg goes with me or I don’t go either.” It took my wife to convince the Rebbe that we would be fine to walk to the reception area, and he should go ahead and only then did he agree to proceed.
In subsequent trips that the Rebbe made to Eretz Yisrael for family simchos, especially as he aged, one of the most dedicated mispallelim of the Rebbe, Reb Shmuel Katz, traveled with him and took care of him with incredible care and dedication.
All those who were in close proximity to the Rebbe were able to learn so many important lessons from him. I would suggest that maybe the greatest lesson of all was watching the incredible relationship that the Rebbe had with his older brother-in-law, HaRav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt’l. They were very different in background, in personality, and in approach, but the love and respect they had for each other for over 50 years was an inspiration to all who merited to witness it.
The Rebbe, over the years, would sometimes ask me to meet with different couples from the shtiebel who were going through difficult shalom bayis issues, and I would always report back to him about my discussions with them. I always looked forward to hearing the Rebbe’s approach on how to deal with these sensitive matters, which showed not only great compassion but a deep understanding of human nature. While his suggestions were often different subject to the particular circumstances, however, what wasn’t different was the depth of concern and love that he had for every single person who came into his orbit. He would often call me eager for my report and would be absolutely thrilled when there was good news.
The only thing that was more important to the Rebbe than this, was his lifelong commitment to harbatzas haTorah. I remember one time calling him that I had an update for him on a particular case that he was very concerned about and I wanted to come speak to him about it. The Rebbe said, “Please come after 10 p.m. because I have a Daf Yomi shiur until then.” I came a bit early to the shtiebel and saw the Rebbe learning DafYomi with just one person who wasn’t even a member of his shul. However to the Rebbe, learning Torah with another Yid took precedence over everything else.
It’s important to make note that when speaking about the Rebbe, it’s impossible to do so without speaking about the Rebbetzin, z’l, as well. They had such an incredible kesher. The Rebbetzin not only took care of him and his beautiful family with total dedication and commitment, but she also took care of the shtiebel family as well. When the Rebbetzin became ill, the Rebbe was just never the same again. I once came at night a few months after the Rebbetzin became ill to speak to the Rebbe and I found him sitting there very forlorn. I asked him if he was feeling well and he responded (in Yiddish), “The light of the house is extinguished.” I would try to come by sometimes just to wish the Rebbetzin a good Shabbos or a good yom tov even when she could no longer speak, yet she always greeted me with an incredibly bright and warm smile. The Rebbe would always call me afterwards and personally thank me for visiting the Rebbetzin and would tell me that I helped make her feel good. Baruch Hashem, the Rebbe and Rebbetzin left an incredible legacy of a large family of gedolei Torah and marbitzei Torah that have made their mark on the Torah world both here and in Eretz Yisrael. The shtiebel will continue to thrive under the capable leadership of the Rebbe’s son HaRav HaGaon Rav Yossi Spiegel, shlita.
For all the wonderful gifts that the Rebbe brought to the Five Towns community a half a century ago, his incredible warmth to every Yid that he met was possibly the greatest gift of all. It is an absolute truth that we now have to live in a world without the Rebbe to advocate for us to be better Yidden and instead we have to rely on him advocating for us from his exalted place in Gan Eden. Chaval aal deavdin velo mishtacachin.
Yehi zichro baruch!
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