From The Desk Of Rabbi Shlomo Rizel Parshas Mishpatim

Pearls of Life

The Pearls of Life brings Rabbi Avigdor’s prospective on Shidduchim which is very practical advice. This is an amazing question! What should one do if he is dating a girl who has money and she has looks and she has personality but thechemistry doesn’t click? Rabbi Miller answers that, he should marry her. Because there is something wrong with his clicker. Every normal man is capable of falling in love with a good looking girl. If a normal man can’t fall in love with a good looking girl – especially if she has money too – then there is something very wrong with him. I had a neighborhood rabbi, next to where I lived in a certain place. A young man who was there for many years until he stopped being young. And he still wasn’t married. He moved to Brooklyn and he was already in his late fifties. So I met him once and I said, “Nu?” and he said “Es clicksts ach nisht.” He died a bachelor. A tragedy. There’s something wrong with these fellows. It’s nothing wrong with the girls. The truth is most girls you can love. Make up your mind that’s the girl for you, that’s all. Hashem made it so, that men love women. Unless something is very wrong. But if she’s likable and personable, then something is wrong with him; there’s no question about it. And therefore, he should close his eyes and he should dive in.Once a Rosh Yeshiva told me this: He said that a shidduch is like a capsule – inside, the powder is bitter. That’s why there’s a capsule there, so that you shouldn’t taste the powder. So if you swallow the capsule, alright, it’ll be good. But if you start chewing on the capsule, you’ll end up spitting it out. So a shidduch, if it’s good, you take the shidduch and you don’t start tasting it too much. If you go out on too many dates it’s no good. Adapted from TAPE # 495 (March 1984)